it came crashing on me..just a day away from my dearest and its already becoming difficult..just the feeling that i cant pick the phone and speak to her when i want, is irritating me..im sure she would be feeling the same...
i used to laugh at those romantic mushy movies when i was in college and i could never believe that people could get so crazy about each other..and today sitting alone at the veranda on a cloudy night i can think nothing else but her!
its actually a mixed feeling..one side im so frustrated at not being able to speak to her..on the other side i feel so fortunate to have some one dear in my life, with whom i can be myself and also the knowledge that she likes me for what i am and not for anything else..
for all those people thinking of making a commitment...my only advice to u...if u think he or she is the one..dont wait..go ahead...its one life and dont loose the opportunity to live it....
Friday, October 5, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
what does it take?
thanks to rajesh..finally i saw the movie chakde..the movie did live up to the hype, very well made and i could connect to it emotionally..what got me thinking is how many of us have got what it takes to survive the time kabhir khan spent on his own and the courage to come back..
we ( all "we" to be replaced with "I"..still not comfy using I!) crib on every possible opportunity about the poor state of affairs around us, we blame the government, the unruly public and even sometime the peaceful cow munching grass in the middle of the road!..how many of us have got it in us to stand up and fight against any of this..because we do realise that the comfort we enjoy today might all fly away when we take up a challenge of this sort...
we do confess at times, that our lives lacks purpose and meaning ( mostly over a drink or when you are sitting bored in a airport..)..and we promise ourselves that in the next few days to start something that is meaningful and purposeful...but that is were it ends most of the time, because once the hangover is through the realization of the difficulty pops in..and then who wants to put in all that effort.
we ( all "we" to be replaced with "I"..still not comfy using I!) crib on every possible opportunity about the poor state of affairs around us, we blame the government, the unruly public and even sometime the peaceful cow munching grass in the middle of the road!..how many of us have got it in us to stand up and fight against any of this..because we do realise that the comfort we enjoy today might all fly away when we take up a challenge of this sort...
we do confess at times, that our lives lacks purpose and meaning ( mostly over a drink or when you are sitting bored in a airport..)..and we promise ourselves that in the next few days to start something that is meaningful and purposeful...but that is were it ends most of the time, because once the hangover is through the realization of the difficulty pops in..and then who wants to put in all that effort.
the next time i even think of cribbing or complaining i need to first look at myself and question what have i done about it ...
it takes a lot of courage to put all the efforts behind a purpose..most of the times it looks very simple from outside and we have brilliant solutions, but to actually dirty the hands and take up a thankless job takes courage and character..i wish i could pen down something someday that i had done that made a difference...
how else can i end..chakde!
p.s: i was not under any influence when i penned down:)
Monday, August 6, 2007
nervous..
i hate to admit..i was damn nervous..this is how i felt a week back...i was taking a test and i was not sure how i would fair.today with conviction i can say one thing for sure...never postpone a difficult option because you think you are not going to make it ( at the same time you do need to ensure you are well prepared).
i had been postponing the test for almost 3 years, as i thought i would not fair well..now i know it was just the fear of failure which kept me away from the test..i still remember the day i decided to take the plunge...it was a few months back..i had a rough day in office and had just hit the shower after reaching home..as i was drying myself i felt helpless and lost...that's when i decided to take control of my own life and to take the bull by the horn!
today i am satisfied...though i know a lot of work is ahead, i am at least confident that i am capable and i can achieve a goal once i have a clear focus and reason..
i am so happy that i did take the step forward...for all those who will read this blog...don't postpone just because of fear...its better to try and fail rather than sit and wait for the whole world to move ahead...world favours the brave!
Go ahead and take the bull by the horn!
i had been postponing the test for almost 3 years, as i thought i would not fair well..now i know it was just the fear of failure which kept me away from the test..i still remember the day i decided to take the plunge...it was a few months back..i had a rough day in office and had just hit the shower after reaching home..as i was drying myself i felt helpless and lost...that's when i decided to take control of my own life and to take the bull by the horn!
today i am satisfied...though i know a lot of work is ahead, i am at least confident that i am capable and i can achieve a goal once i have a clear focus and reason..
i am so happy that i did take the step forward...for all those who will read this blog...don't postpone just because of fear...its better to try and fail rather than sit and wait for the whole world to move ahead...world favours the brave!
Go ahead and take the bull by the horn!
Monday, June 18, 2007
long day..
Long days are those days in which the time comes to a standstill and refuses to move on!..today is one of those days....
Been staring at the laptop from morning hoping to pick up something to work on..the list of "to do" is long, but nothing seems to interest me today. This is not the first time I am in this situation. I usually end up in this situation if I am having a thought niggling in the back of my mind or if i am looking forward to some thing special...
I have come to understand lately that its better to enjoy the time in hand rather than anticipate what is going to happen or drool over something which has happened in the past..but it is one thing to know and other to practise it!
In most cases in life the solutions or approach to a problem is well known to the mind, the lack of will to follow it is the main cause of concern...it takes courage and discipline to get over problems and reach ones goal!
See i told you!...the approach is well known...lack of the will is the issue!
Somebody Help me! ( come on...no externalisation....I should help me;-) )..
Been staring at the laptop from morning hoping to pick up something to work on..the list of "to do" is long, but nothing seems to interest me today. This is not the first time I am in this situation. I usually end up in this situation if I am having a thought niggling in the back of my mind or if i am looking forward to some thing special...
I have come to understand lately that its better to enjoy the time in hand rather than anticipate what is going to happen or drool over something which has happened in the past..but it is one thing to know and other to practise it!
In most cases in life the solutions or approach to a problem is well known to the mind, the lack of will to follow it is the main cause of concern...it takes courage and discipline to get over problems and reach ones goal!
See i told you!...the approach is well known...lack of the will is the issue!
Somebody Help me! ( come on...no externalisation....I should help me;-) )..
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
wow!!..
today's blog is not gonna be confusing, but for a change tasty!! (.. this is confusing!!).. Colleague and I were looking for a good south Indian eating joint for dinner..i was thinking about all the suede places i have been to and none seemed interesting enough..then my colleague suggested MTR and as I have never been there, I agreed immediately ( it was also backed by my liking for MTR ready to eat Upma..)
As we travelled I made a mental picture of the restaurant and I was expecting a swanky building with a rich and traditional decor..And then BANG!..It was completely opposite...an old building with a very simple layout. We were taken through 3 large dinning halls into a small dinning area. As I looked around I could find people from all walks of life and ages, and everybody was waiting for the meal ( this place serves only meals in the night and i was told they change the menu everyday). What followed next was a complete range of south indian delicacies..it was outstanding!.. there was so much of choice and the quality of food was exceptional..
What surprised me at the end of the meal is how come MTR does not have any chain of restaurants and how they still offer their meal at such a low price (80!).. from the passion they displayed while serving the food and the attention they showed to each individual present, i assumed that they were running this restaurant not just as a business but for a larger purpose..I am not sure what the purpose is and i can only guess that may be they are doing it as a service to the society and also preserving kanadiga culture..whatever it may be, they are doing a fabulous job!...if you ever come to Bangalore do drop into this restaurant..
This experience does strengthen my belief that individuals and organisations just don't exist to create profits, they can also meaningfully engage themselves in larger purposes which are driven towards spreading joy and improving the life of the society they are in...
As we travelled I made a mental picture of the restaurant and I was expecting a swanky building with a rich and traditional decor..And then BANG!..It was completely opposite...an old building with a very simple layout. We were taken through 3 large dinning halls into a small dinning area. As I looked around I could find people from all walks of life and ages, and everybody was waiting for the meal ( this place serves only meals in the night and i was told they change the menu everyday). What followed next was a complete range of south indian delicacies..it was outstanding!.. there was so much of choice and the quality of food was exceptional..
What surprised me at the end of the meal is how come MTR does not have any chain of restaurants and how they still offer their meal at such a low price (80!).. from the passion they displayed while serving the food and the attention they showed to each individual present, i assumed that they were running this restaurant not just as a business but for a larger purpose..I am not sure what the purpose is and i can only guess that may be they are doing it as a service to the society and also preserving kanadiga culture..whatever it may be, they are doing a fabulous job!...if you ever come to Bangalore do drop into this restaurant..
This experience does strengthen my belief that individuals and organisations just don't exist to create profits, they can also meaningfully engage themselves in larger purposes which are driven towards spreading joy and improving the life of the society they are in...
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
the purpose!
aah..I'm sure all of us at some point of our life would have stumbled upon this word purpose and most of the time it’s in the context of one's own life. This word usually troubles me; sometimes I feel this word brings more trouble than clarity in one's action or plans!
I find people, who are usually mechanical; not worried on the implication of their action or the impact, do not get bogged down by the purpose statement of their action. They seem to get happiness from smaller aspects of life and they are comfortable viewing life as a collection of activities which a person performs during his life..they do not constantly search for the thread which connects our actions and thoughts. Should this be a desirable state to be in? Does it justify thinking through each action just because we have the ability to think!
But then if we stop worrying about the objective and start running behind activities what are we there for ( the purpose is back!). Wouldn't life become empty and meaningless if we do not have a purpose, for example if we dint play to win or to have fun what good is to play ( if our Indian cricket team continue to lose and are not having any fun whats the use they playing or we watching them play!)..Hence can we say purpose is what provides us the energy and passion in life to keep us running?
hmmm I seem to have reached the same state I was when I started writing this piece.. confused!!
I find people, who are usually mechanical; not worried on the implication of their action or the impact, do not get bogged down by the purpose statement of their action. They seem to get happiness from smaller aspects of life and they are comfortable viewing life as a collection of activities which a person performs during his life..they do not constantly search for the thread which connects our actions and thoughts. Should this be a desirable state to be in? Does it justify thinking through each action just because we have the ability to think!
But then if we stop worrying about the objective and start running behind activities what are we there for ( the purpose is back!). Wouldn't life become empty and meaningless if we do not have a purpose, for example if we dint play to win or to have fun what good is to play ( if our Indian cricket team continue to lose and are not having any fun whats the use they playing or we watching them play!)..Hence can we say purpose is what provides us the energy and passion in life to keep us running?
hmmm I seem to have reached the same state I was when I started writing this piece.. confused!!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
the way back home...
i seem to be in a temporary high(!) today..so here comes the 2nd blog of the day...
its been almost 5 years that i have been working and today i was taking a introductory session for a fresh batch of CA's who have joined the organisation..what was starkling to me was the eagerness and the passion they were displaying towards physical forms...im sure during my first few months in the organisation i also had the same feeling...over a period of time these feelings seem to have become dormant...
this fact of dormancy got me thinking ( not for the first time)..with time how things take a turn..what seemed interesting turned out to be a box of unwanted stuff..what seemed trivial turns out to be interesting and fun!..and the interesting turn out to be the source of passion as time moves on...physical forms tend to loose value with time..the intangibles start as a slow runner but then take a long lead..
this goes true with people as well..initial interactions lets you experience only the part the person is willing to share (no pun indented!)...over a period of time you actually get to know the person and that's when you actually start liking or disliking...hmmm i seem to be stoned!!
its been almost 5 years that i have been working and today i was taking a introductory session for a fresh batch of CA's who have joined the organisation..what was starkling to me was the eagerness and the passion they were displaying towards physical forms...im sure during my first few months in the organisation i also had the same feeling...over a period of time these feelings seem to have become dormant...
this fact of dormancy got me thinking ( not for the first time)..with time how things take a turn..what seemed interesting turned out to be a box of unwanted stuff..what seemed trivial turns out to be interesting and fun!..and the interesting turn out to be the source of passion as time moves on...physical forms tend to loose value with time..the intangibles start as a slow runner but then take a long lead..
this goes true with people as well..initial interactions lets you experience only the part the person is willing to share (no pun indented!)...over a period of time you actually get to know the person and that's when you actually start liking or disliking...hmmm i seem to be stoned!!
time takes a toll!
hmmm...i was kind off stoned post the last nights heavy intellectual ( read drunk!) discussion..meet up with a old sardar friend..landed up discussing the dera issue and then the discussion never stopped..
what surprised me in the end was that the intentions and idea behind the whole creation of the Sikh sect seems to have been forgotten... the frills seems to have taken over...
They must observe the following guidelines. These are known as the
Rahatnamas (Codes of Conduct):
Defend the weak or infirm from tyranny and
oppression.
Not to remove hair from any part of the body (hair was declared
sacred by the Guru).
Not to use Tobacco or other intoxicants (e.g.,
alcohol).
Not eat meat killed by the Halal or Kosher Methods - ADVANCED
STUDIES IN SIKHISM by Jasbir Singh and Harbans Singh.this got me thinking ( which is a perpetual state im in!!).. with time the intentions behind great ideas gets eroded and lost...what remains is a skeletal understanding of the whole ideology...this was just an example..if we look at the world today, we have lost all the compassion..religion which was created for harmony and peace is actually the source of many conflicts!
this holds good for any idea..the reason behind creation of a democracy was that of providing a right to each citizen and of equality...but im not sure how many of the voters today realise that..a whole UP election is based on equations of caste!!
let me mull over these and see if can c the light at the end of the tunnel ( or is it a train approaching towards me!!)
a few pages from my life
hmm...this is my first bolg..i woke up in the morning and felt liberated for some odd reason..not sure why...may be it was due to a intellectual ( read drunk!!) discussion i had at tavern ( pub i hang out..) with one of my old sardar friends last night...it was all about the on going classhes in punjab on the dera issue... we started with history and all the reaons for it...surprisngly he was also for it!!
thts when i figured out that most of the cases the intention or idea behind the creation gets lost over a period of time and the phrills take up the main stage...hmm..let me try explaining this in details..the intention or idea behind Sikhism was..
They must observe the following guidelines. These are known as the Rahatnamas (Codes of Conduct):
Defend the weak or infirm from tyranny and oppression.
Not to remove hair from any part of the body (hair was declared sacred by the Guru).
Not to use Tobacco or other intoxicants (e.g., alcohol).
Not eat meat killed by the Halal or Kosher Methods ( ADVANCED STUDIES IN SIKHISM by Jasbir Singh and Harbans Singh.: Hukamnama written by Sri Gobind Singh ji)..
On reading these i got surprised!..is this war based on any of the above!...
now moving on to the larger issue...i used the above case as only a example..i dont wish to take any sides on the issues... with time in most case the intial ideology gets tarnished and we tend to run behind the phrills...today the whole world is on war due to religion and religio was created for peace and harmony!
we need to stop and think where we are all off too..the world has become extremelly rigid in it views and we have stopped thinking!
" It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it"
- Aristotle
thts when i figured out that most of the cases the intention or idea behind the creation gets lost over a period of time and the phrills take up the main stage...hmm..let me try explaining this in details..the intention or idea behind Sikhism was..
They must observe the following guidelines. These are known as the Rahatnamas (Codes of Conduct):
Defend the weak or infirm from tyranny and oppression.
Not to remove hair from any part of the body (hair was declared sacred by the Guru).
Not to use Tobacco or other intoxicants (e.g., alcohol).
Not eat meat killed by the Halal or Kosher Methods ( ADVANCED STUDIES IN SIKHISM by Jasbir Singh and Harbans Singh.: Hukamnama written by Sri Gobind Singh ji)..
On reading these i got surprised!..is this war based on any of the above!...
now moving on to the larger issue...i used the above case as only a example..i dont wish to take any sides on the issues... with time in most case the intial ideology gets tarnished and we tend to run behind the phrills...today the whole world is on war due to religion and religio was created for peace and harmony!
we need to stop and think where we are all off too..the world has become extremelly rigid in it views and we have stopped thinking!
" It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it"
- Aristotle
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